First day happenings

Ooh thanks to the farewell dance now Blue by Big bang is one of my favourite songs.

So anyway, today I just wanted to tell you what happened in school today.
Today was the first day of school, and I shall celebrate this momentous occasion with a blogpost!

So I shall start. 

During Assembly our principal gave us a warm and welcoming presentation to welcome us back to school and to get us on the right track for the new term. She's a rather porly lady with round-ish spectacles and short hair. She has a very nice and sincere smile, and a rather boisterous, but polite, personality. She also has a very good sense of humor and I like her very much. Her voice is sort of shaky sometimes, but it's clear and warming at the same time. I often feel like she's a tad nervous when she addresses us as a school, but towards the end, I always feel as if she's much more comfortable and has found her place on stage.

Through her presentation she portrayed the "stark contrast" between the attitudes of Singaporeans and the Japanese, and told us that it came to the choices we made and our sense of community. 2 Cs she wanted us to take on for the new semester. I think one of the highlights of her speech was when she dimmed her voice a little and turned up the serious levels and said. "Now girls, you can choose whether or not you would like to be happy or unhappy". Which I think is really great, and makes perfect sense. Just in case you're wondering, I have chosen to be a happy individual. 

After her presentation, we were dismissed to make our way to our various classrooms. 

First period of the day: Geography.

In my humble opinion, my teacher resembles the likes of a frog. Like big-ish bug eyes with thick glasses, and a triangular face with the thin withered lips and wearing that weary look on his face. You know something, after seeing all my teachers coming and going, I've decided that I am never to become world-weary and disenchanted. There's so much more to live for, and I'm going to move if I should ever find that I'm living in a rut. Move as in.. Make changes to my life, relevant changes.

He lesson was rather boring. I spent most of my time doodling and talking to Mandy. Even though I had promised my parents I would focus more during lessons, then again, we didn't cover anything during the lesson. After which we had recess, which was kinda nice to eat with friends and enjoy school food. We fought over Isabel's fishcake and egg. And I stole her food because I was still feeling hungry.

Second period of the day: English

Mrs. Mok is away on maternity leave, I always knew she was a bit of a lazy ass anyway bleh. So anyway, Mdm. Ng and Ms. Blint are taking our class, and it's awfully sad that now Ms. Blint is just a teaching assistant because she was our literature teacher and I thought she did a great job. However, the school found her inadequate so they demoted her. Which is saddening to say the least. It was really really boring. Mdm. Ng sort of reminds me of a mother duck, the way she... Nevermind you know what something's just really eating at me ok.

During science, my teacher asked for volunteers to help Debbie to carry books for submission so I volunteered. And then this girl was like... "who would want someone with STDs to carry their books?" 

Oh come on Mindy. You are so mature aren't you.

It's alright guys, I know I may be a slut of sorts and all that and we used to be tight, Mindy and I, but we're not anymore, and for ages, in fact, since the beginning of the year I have been nothing but civil. I have not hurled at her names. I have not talked bad of her. I have completely avoided her. I don't understand why she can't just leave me the fuck alone. I'm not even asking of her to be civil to me. I just want her to leave me alone. Can't you just do that. Just go away and leave me alone.

It's not that I'm a wonderful and perfect person, I have my flaws. And I don't deny that I was pretty bitchy and stuff in the past. But you have no right to publicly humiliate me like that. Alright? If you have a problem with me, what do you want me to do? I have stayed so far away from you. I haven't even contacted you are breathed the same oxygen as you in a month.

And I think I'm pretty nice. I haven't called you anything inappropriate on this post. While you called me a slut with STDs on your post and said I had STDs in front of everyone in class again. What do you want? A public apology? For what? For ladening you with my burdens in the past? I took yours, too alright. If you had had enough of my shit. Just tell me. I would have been happy to leave you alone. You didn't have to write a lengthy blog post on why you so greatly dislike me. It's fine, really. I'm ok with that, you should know that by now. And you know what? Go ahead do what you like. Call me whatever you want. It's not going to change anything because the fact is, 1) I have never had sex with a guy 2) If I have never had intercourse, please tell me how I could have contracted such a disease.

Even if I had, of which I don't, you were being insensitive and mean. Let me tell you something, Mindy, even though you can't read this, what goes around comes around. You believe in wicca (or however you spell it I'm so sorry), and this will come back to you. I don't know how, but it will. And good luck with that. 

My friends dislike you intensely and they often criticize your spendthrift ways, despite how you often go on about how your dad is a jerk and your mother doesn't earn a lot of money. I'm not going to lie, me and my friends are all pretty well-off, one of them especially, and you definitely spend more money than we do. I just hope you don't do something stupid in your future.

Oh and when you left found my waterbottle, my friend told me that you went all, "Oh is this _____'s waterbottle? Ew ew ew, I don't wanna touch it." You don't have to. And i hope you change sometime soon because I don't think many people are going to like you in the real world. My friends' parents dislike you and so do mine. So I wish you the best of luck because quite frankly, I don't see a very promising attitude towards life in you.

Past Past Past Imma tell you about my past.

Hello there!


If I asked you to read this.. it's because I need  you, or I'd like you to know what happened to me. And why I am stuff. And to those of you who found this n chance... Well it doesn't say who I am so. Yes. You can go ahead. Read. If I did ask you, congratulations. I trust you and I think you deserve to know.


Why I am. What I am today.
So I shall start, with a bit about me. As in, what I am as a person.
If this were a normal blog, I'd tell you my hobbies and stuff, to let you know more about me, as a person. Like my hobbies, and useless crap like that, but this is meant for people who know me. And who I think deserve to know... The truth about me. 


I'm not a great or fantastic writer.
I'm smart. I can memorize my stuff well. I'm a good student. I do pretty okay at school. 
I'm pretty persuasive as a person. I'm not negative, and I really don't like gossiping.
That's me. 
I'm a slut. I'm pretty cold when it comes down to people.
I'm very horny. I'm very very horny.
I.. watch porn. I do stuff. I'm mean. I'm very very mean.
Blunt. Insensitive.
That's me.
Do you see where this is going? 
That's all me. There's no split personality. There's no double duo. There's. Only. Me.


Back to my story.


I was not born in a happy family.


To begin with, my mother had no intention to marry my father. Did she love him? No. Did her parents accept him? No. Why did she marry him? Purely out of pity. That's sad isn't it.
Let me talk a bit about my parents just to show you.. How dysfunctional my family really is.
My paternal grandfather had 5 wives. And it's very drama. 2 are dead, my grandmother is alive, but separated. Not divorced, separated. It's probably going to be a power struggle to get their hands on my grandfather's massive amounts of wealth when he's a goner. And I don't wanna be there when that happens.
My mum, she was an accident. Oops. Sorry mum, I guess shit happens and it happens to be you. Her mum was a compulsive gambler and she borrowed money from my dad's mum.. And they haven't spoken since.
Lets just say, there's a reason why we don't have family reunion with both my mother and my father's sides of the family in the same room. It just.. doesn't happen. 
Now the point of this sob story is to show why I have a skewered view of relationships.
I have learnt that when it comes down to it, your family is going to be the people who are going to turn on you. My family's the sort anyway.
Like there was this one time when I was 3. We had a birthday party, and my mum's parents were 3 hours late. And we waited.. and waited.. and waited for them to come and witness cake-cutting.
My father was.. pissed. Oh oh did I forget to mention that after the party, my dad sat my mum down on this small stool, towered over her and screamed about how her family was just.. Well, they were pretty shit. And then.. He told my mum that she would never see her mother again and neither could I. And my mum cried. Buckets. The tears just kept flowing. The stammering.
Oh and all this happened in front of me. 
It kinda sucks to watch your mum cry.
And until like 3 years ago, I only saw my grandmother, twice a year. Max. Once during chinese new year, and maybe, just maybe, another time when I met her purely by coincidence when I went to my aunt's house to play, or something.
Happy childhood <3 I know people have worse lives, I'm not complaining. 
I'm trying to say, at an early age, I learnt how people can be taken away, whisked out of your life, just like that. I witnessed.. Extreme grief, and anger, and how.. Devastating it's effects can be.


Now lets talk about.. relationships. Ooooh. Is it interesting? Nahhhh.


I have had 5 boyfriends.6 maybe.


Not a lot. I've pretty much mastered ow to get over guys. I've gotten down to an hour. It takes me about 50 minutes to get over a break up. Record time. Yeah so I'm going to tell you what I learnt from each one. And oh! Of course. There's more then boys I were in a relationship in. There are other guys who left a bit of a whole in my life. Two guys. I'm going to talk about two guys who I wasn't in a relationship with.. So eight guys. Eight lessons. And I'll start with the two I weren't in.. a relationship with. This is so repetitive, "In a relationship" "in a relationship"..
ANYWAY


#1 Gooi. That was your last name. It was cute. I thought it was anyway.
You were loaded, and you were. My best friend. And I told you I liked you more than a friend and now we're not friends anymore. Wonderful! Actually we are. We actually exchanged words this year when we went back to primary school. That's humongous improvement. Oh you made me cry when I made that mistake of tell Fionna who Josh liked. I cried for days, love. Days. And nights. Ouch ouch ouch! The memory still burns. And I told you I told her. Because I thought you deserved to know I "betrayed" you.
And now we don't even say shit to one another.
We used to talk about everything! Everything.. 
Ohhh well. No big deal. Have a nice time in RI. You're still one of the people I truly trusted.


So. What did this teach me? If you tell the truth it's just going to slap you in the fucking face.


#2 You're so sweet. You still are. But I don't like you. Even though you attempted to buy me dinner but you ran out of money, you goofball. You're one of my greatest friends, and I only have perfect memories with you. Perfect.


And this? You never get the perfect people. Ever. Life doesn't let you love the person who's so damn perfect for you.


#3 Ah. P3. "will you be my girfriend?" So cute. Good memories. Don't even talk anymore. Not even a word.


This? Life pushes people into the special realms of your life.. and then takes them away. Like that. 
You scared me, honey, the way you stalked me around school.


#4 Oooh. You bastard, my first "lurve", don't believe in those anymore, and the guy I liked. A lot. You asked me. For naked pictures. Wow. You asshole. You started my downward spiral. I didn't give it. But you'll understand later. Cheated on me.. Toyed with my feelings.. You made me what I am today. And I hate myself. If I ever see you again.. I'll smile at you. Because you deserve nothing less than insincerity after what you did to me. I hope you burn in hell. I cried a lot. I did! I took a month to get over you. Aren't you glad? You poor insecure piece of shit. Don't worry honey, I'm sure there was a heartless bitch that made you this way. I don't blame you. There's a reason who you are what you are. And a reason why I am what I am, and you just happen to be one of my reasons.

People can lie to you and hurt you.. And not feel a fucking thing. That's what I learnt.
You probably feel real empty, dear. And I don't blame you at all.
If you find love. I hope you screw up bad.
You blocked me on facebook, too! But I don't blame you darling, I told my mum you asked for my nudie photos, I'd get scared too if I were you. Your Dad would have whipped you with his belt and your mum would have beat you to death with that baseball bat, love. And that's what you deserve. Have fun in Hwachong, Benjamin Neo. 

#5 You're nice to me. But I know why. Yeah ok we shouldn't have done all that horny stuff together. I wish we hadn't done it because we have our own.. Partners now. And we couldn't stop. And it's kind of because of you I was doing crap with all those other guys after you. Really horny stuff. I only have myself to blame.. But thanks for opening my eyes to a world of pleasure anyway. It was fun while it lasted. Except that it didn't last. I had no plans on marrying you or anything, just purely sexual in that sense.


Here's what I learned, if you fuck up once, you'll just keep fucking up and no one's going to help you. Because no one can. And you can't expect them to.. Because you don't know what to do either.


#6 We weren't meant to be. Sorry for leading you on. Because.. I was lo-onely. Also because I tried to take your feelings into consideration and said "yeah, I like you too" Really. And it got extremely creepy when you were trying to call me all the time. And sms-ing me. And.. and.. I don't blame you ok. The last straw was when your ex-girlfriend slammed my facebook wall and basically called me homewrecker. And then proceeded to hack your phone, and take our private conversations which you (idiot) recorded, and posted it on youtube. She put. A recording. Of me. Talking about masturbation. And posted it. On youtube. And tried to blackmail me. Wow. She went to a hell lot of trouble to humiliate me. Sabrina Tay, honey, I regret ever even talking to your love because he was stalking the crap out of me. You really didn't need to stalk me too. And if by any chance you chose to stalk me and you have read. are reading this, I'm sorry. 


And this is what I took home: Even if you lie to save someone's feelings. Someone else's is going to be shattered anyway. SOMEBODY. Especially when it comes to love. And the pain is going to come right around and bite you in the fucking ass.


#7 Oops. Shouldn't have promised you sex. You were mad. We don't talk anymore. And that's great. Because I don't really like you. You're a bit mean sometimes. You called my friend a bitch. You didn't really respect me. And your mind was empty. Too much horny. It was fun playing with your feelings.


Being a jerk is fun, lesson learnt.


#8 Oh wow. Fantastic. I broke up with you a few hours ago. Sort of. Because we weren't legitly together. And -oops text from brendan. ANYWAY. You. You you you. Stole all my pride. Myself. And you left. You stole it. Everything you could have possibly taken. My body. My mind. My time. My feelings. Thank you. And what did you have to say for it?


"I'm sorry"


OH GEE. NOW THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BRING BACK EVERYTHING.


So this is what I learnt:
You. You can never take back what you lost. And nothing. Nothing you can do or say will make things ok.


And this is my explanation. For why I choose to do somethings. And other stuff. If you know.






And I'm done for today. Goodbye.